MUSINGS: WHEN YOU ‘CHOOSE HAPPY’

Hello! This is gonna be a kind of heart-to-heart post that I spontaneously wanted to write.

So flash back a year ago, I was a really different person.  I was full of negativity, self-loathing and despair and I constantly wanted to be sad, too… because I knew a part of me wanted pity and attention from other people.   I was very jealous of basically everyone around me and I judged myself so hard.  Also, I would tell one of my best friends about it all the time.   She had her fair share of rantings and expression of unhappiness, so in a way, I enjoyed how we bonded…..although it was over mutual negativity.  I also became a judgemental and contemptuous person, towards some of the closest people to me.  I got angry at one of my best friends and held grudges just because I felt like it.  Every little thing she did pissed me off and I found reasons not to like her.

Eventually, all this negativity affected people I expressed it to; it was constant complaining and being upset at this or that, and it really wears someone down hearing about it so often.  I am so thankful to one of my besties for calling me out on that – and it was SO easy – I decided to stop.  If I wanted to be negative I kept it to myself and eventually told myself it wasn’t worth it.  Because dwelling in sadness is a waste of time; a waste of life.  Spending any second being sad could be a second spent being happy and doing the things that I love to do.  Life is really how you make it, and I realized, that Choosing Happy is so liberating.  Happiness is a choice.  I’m not trying to generalize for anybody who is going through something different, but I am trying to say that I go through something myself, and I’m on my own path to figure things out.  For me, liberating myself from my thoughts was how I could be happy.

In the recent months, I saw this happen to the very best friend who called me out.  I don’t know if it was work stress, a lack of downtime (quality time alone to chill), or a build up of something else, but she became a girl who got mad at every little thing that her friends did.  She was irritable and kind of like a ticking time bomb.   She would be happy one second, then at one thing, have her mood turned 180 degrees.  My best friends and I let this go on for a while, but I decided I needed to tell her.   When I finally did tell her, it was so easy too – she just decided to let that go.  She realized too that she could be so happy to let the little things go and to move forward living life as a positive person – by choice.

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Be a little silly my friend

If you’re going through something like this because of a stumbling block happening in your life, know that you will get through it, but why not get through it being positive?  I really believe that God puts the right things there for you at the right time, so if this applies to you, I’m happy I wrote this post 🙂

much love,

Boki

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